The Final Goodbye
by A x Stupid x Lamb
Summary: The Cullens never left before Edward left Bella so she asks to say that last goodbye and say farwell to the family she has come to know and love.Will she make it through the heart wrenching leaving scene and will she remain in one piece?
1. Chapter 1

"We're leaving …just me and the family" the words seemed to pick me up and throw me around the forest I was now in.

"What, I don't know what your saying, you wouldn't do that!" the fury in me rose at the betrayal he was committing.

"I can't pretend I belong with you any more, it's to painful" I fell to the floor and looked up at him.

"You lied to me" I whispered "dam you! You broke your promise to me. How could you?" I asked lamely

"I said I would be with you as long as you needed me," he answered coldly

"Well I do need you" I tried defiantly

"No… you want me, need and want are two totally different things" he kept himself composed and stable, why wasn't he in an emotional breakdown like me!

"What do you want me to do when you're gone? Play happy families?" I said bitterly

"I know it seems painful now but you'll forget me, time heals all wounds for humans"

"How can I forget you when you were the one who brought me to life in the first place?"

" I destroyed your chances at a normal life Bella, right now you should be hating me for the cold hearted monster I am" his eyes filled with anger but at what, me? Or himself?

"You wont die or get old you know, you'll have to live with this for your entire existence" I challenged. He sighed

"To die would be an awfully big adventure" for a split second he seemed a million miles away, lost in his dreams.

"To live would be an awfully big adventure too, you leave and there wont be a single part of me that lives" I blurted out. It was the truth, he had to know that!

"Bella please, as one door closes another one opens, you'll find a new person to spend a normal human life with" he answered me as if he grew wearisome of me talking.

"Why are you doing this, do you not love me?" I asked quietly

"No" was his only response. He turned and headed back the way we had came.

"Don't bother trying to find me again Bella, please, it wouldn't do both of us any good"

"Wait!" I called out, he stopped for a portion of a second but carried on walking out of my life "please just let me say goodbye to everyone, you owe me that" I continued and this made him stop and turn back to me.

"Fine, but I can't promise a happy reunion," he growled and he grabbed my hand and slung me over his back roughly. This was in complete juxtaposition to what I usually felt when on my angels back. This was wrong! Oh god give me courage to get through this. By the end of the day I would have lost everything that matters to me and I would be only half of Bella Swan but will that be enough?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

We were at the soon to be deserted house within 2 minutes. Edward threw me off his back carelessly and I fell to the floor. I stumbled to my feet and carried on towards the house.

"Everyone, Isabella would like to say goodbye" Isabella? Was I just a stranger to him now? No nicknames just someone in his life?

"Bella!" I growled "the names Bella!" Alice came rushing out and she pulled me into a full throttle hug. Her eyes were bright red but no tears fell, they would never fall anymore.

"Oh Bella, Bella, Bella, im so sorry!" my stomach grew empty as I realised something

"You didn't see yourself staying or returning?" I already knew the answer

"No, Edward puts a stop to it every time" she growled "he has no right to do this!" she mumbled to herself

"Oh I will miss you Alice, you'll always have a place in my heart, remember that" she merely nodded and then we sat down on the steps of the house. time passed to fast and soon it was night time. Carlisle came out around this time.

"Alice please you need to get ready" Alice didn't move an inch. Carlisle sighed then "Emmett" suddenly Emmett was tugging Alice from me and I held onto her for dear life as did she.

"No Emmett stop it! I can't leave her!!" Alice screeched, our grip on each other loosens as Emmett tore us apart. Finally, defeated, Alice was ripped from my arms and banished from my world. I stood up and kicked the step

"Dam it!" I screamed "are you happy?" It appeared I was having a go at the house but I knew Edward was inside "you see what it's doing already?" I pressed on

"Yes, he does" Carlisle responded quietly "and he's not changing his mind"

"Oh Carlisle, you were so kind to me, I will miss it." He smiled sympathetically and pulled me into a fatherly hug. I pulled away.

"Too painful" I muttered and he seemed to understand. I then had an idea, maybe I didn't have to speak to people to say goodbye. I felt like a cad doing it but I just couldn't bear it.

"Carlisle d you have paper and a pen?" I asked he nodded and came back with them and a tray to write on.

Alice, Oh I will miss your endless smile and bubbly nature, where has it gone? Just because I am away doesn't mean you can't be the Alice I have come to know and love. I may be back one day. You'll foresee it if I do. Forever in your debt

Bella

I moved on to the next letter now

Jasper,

I expect Alice has already told you this but you didn't listen. I was not you fault! Everyone has there bad days. I don't blame you for what happened and I hope you forgive yourself one day. I won't be there to see it though. You'll perfect you thirst on day as well.

Look after yourself

Bella

On to Emmett I suppose

Emmy,

Don't worry; beating up Edward is not necessary. I imagine everyone is a little down so please keep the family as happy as possible. They deserve that at least. Keep everyone safe and be the responsible adult I know you can be, if you try.

Wishing you well

Bella

Rosalie, I had no idea what t say t her at first but eventually the pen acted of its own accord.

Rosalie,

I never knew much about you but I know your not really the mean, cold person you portray. You seem nice and maybe I will learn about you and get to know you, if we ever meet again. With each word I write it is appear less likely. No matter what you think of me I still loved you.

Have a happy life

Bella

I fought back the tears that came with every single word I put to paper. I would get through all these letters and then leave for good.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

_Esme,_

_Mum, Your cooking was one of a kind and I will defiantly miss it. Please try and keep Edward with you, I am scared of what he will do on his own. Keep the music flowing in the house and let it be like I never entered your world. I should never of anyway. If Edward really wants to be on his own for a while, build him a little cottage or something so he has his own place, just don't let him out of your clutches!_

_Missing you heart warming smile_

_Bella_

This was one of the hardest letters to write. Carlisle had gone inside by now and so I was free to let the tears pour from me like a cascade but I didn't. I wouldn't.

_Carlisle,_

_Dad, don't put yourself down for this, you have done an incredible thing with this family and don't loose it because of me. Your love and compassion for your family is great and I was hoping one day to join it but it appears now that that will not happen. It is your job as well as Esme's to make sure your family is still happy without me, Alice will be a hard one to crack but I know you an do it._

_Wishing you happiness for eternity_

_Bella_

And now it was on to the hardest of them all and I was sure I was going to cry on this one but still, I had to write it.

_Edward,_

_I forgive you._

_Looking after you're heart until you need it_

_Bella_

I let the tears fall now. I couldn't write a giant paragraph to him explaining that I wouldn't be able to live and that I loved him still. The tears stained his letter before I closed it and wrote names on all of them. Carlisle came out then

"Would you like to give your letters now?" he asked. I nodded and then proceeded into the living room where everyone was sitting, looking at he floor. Alice's eyes were an even brighter shade of red. Emmett was not his usual hyper self and Jasper was not controlling any of it, he was to shocked. I sighed and then walked up to Alice. She looked at me with her pain filled eyes and said

"Goodbye, Bella Swan. I will miss you" I nodded and handed her letter into her hands. I moved to Emmett next and he gave me a giant bear hug.

"I'll miss your clumsy presence, its will be no fun"

"You'll find some more entertainment" I said politely and handed him his letter. I carried on to rose.

"Rose, here I wrote you a letter too" I told her and she pulled me into a quick hug and took the letter. I smiled and carried on to Jasper.

"Jazz, cheer up. Alice needs her southern gentleman" I quickly stuffed the letter into his hands and proceeded to Esme. She smiled and I was soon in her motherly embrace. I handed her the letter and moved on to Carlisle.

" You have a wonderful family," I told him truthfully as I passed him his letter.

"I know" he said affectionately "and you're part of it still" I felt my heart break at these words because I could not be part of his family anymore, Edward didn't want that. Speaking of the devil, he was next. I slowly walked up to him placed the latter in his hands and rose to give him a kiss on the cheek

"Goodbye" I whispered and then left for the door. I walked down the steps and tried not to look back. I failed at then when I was halfway down the driveway. I looked back to find everyone staring at me.

"I love you all" I said, knowing they would hear me. Then I turned and walked never looking back. I turned my back on the best moments of my life without a second glance. The world of vampires doesn't belong to me any more. I am Bella Swan and I am alone.

PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**_Chapter 4_**

**_ALICE_**

Edward Cullen is a JERK! How can he take Bella away from me?! I give him all this help and he just dumps her! Well Alice Cullen doesn't take things like this lightly! I stand here with her letter to me in my hands and I am seriously afraid to open the thing. I mean these are the last words Bella Swan will say to me, I have the right to be scared. I gingerly opened that letter and read slowly.

_Alice, Oh I will miss your endless smile and bubbly nature, where has it gone?_

Haha right down the pan with my love for Edward!

_Just because I am away doesn't mean you can't be the Alice I have come to know and love._

Ok she had a point there but still...

_I may be back one day. You'll foresee it if I do._

Of course I will and then I will shove that vision in Edward's stupid head!

_Forever in your debt_

_Bella_

Oh Bella you owe me nothing! I done everything for you out of friendship, not because I thought I had to.

"Dam it," I muttered

"What's up Ally?" Jazz murmured

"Bella's being stupid" I handed him my letter and he read and chuckled at random bits and looked like he wanted to cry in others.

"She's right ally, you shouldn't dwell on this, and you can miss her, yes. Grieve if you must but don't loose who you are" he spoke as he had lived a thousand lives.

"I'll try Jazz, I'll recover one day" and when I said the words I was sure I would but it may take some time. Hey I have time, and a lot of it too.

_**EMMETT**_

As soon as Bella left I went up to my room, I had a feeling that not many people would speak to Edward for a while. Call it a hunch. I clutched in my hand, the final words of my sister. So many emotions! Confusion, what the hell is in this letter? Anger, why did Edward leave her? Eager, what does it say? And many, many, many more that I care not to explain. The only way I was going to get my answer was by opening the letter. I slowly unfurled the paper and read through it.

_Emmy,_

She used my nickname, how kind and so Bella. Even when she knows she will never see me again she uses my nickname.

_Don't worry; beating up Edward is not necessary._

Haha the little devil knew me well. Well if she wishes it, I will not beat Eddie senseless, no matter how much I want to.

_I imagine everyone is a little down so please keep the family as happy as possible. They deserve that at least._

Oh I will try dear one, on my life be it, and it's a very long life you know. Yes everyone is down and that's including me.

_Keep everyone safe and be the responsible adult I know you can be, if you try._

Haha me responsible, I leave that to Jasper and Edward not me.

_Wishing you well_

_Bella_

Oh Bella I wish I could say I was well. But family life isn't at all exciting without you here with us. Edward will go back to his old ways and he will separate himself. I will miss this Edward; I got to know my brother in the time you were here. I thank you for that. I wish you peace sister and most of all I just wish you could hear we now. Return one day and I will tell you my thoughts.

_REVIEW please!!!_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter 5_**

_**ROSALIE**_

Emmett when upstairs as soon as he got his letter and I assume it was because he wanted to read it. I supposed I had better do the same and I yanked the letter open.

_Rosalie,_

_I never knew much about you but I know you're not really the mean, cold person you portray._

True hmm she has learnt a lot about me, I will have to have a word with Edward, if he ever stops moping. I do have a passionate side but I never like to show it. Every time I have done so it ended badly, nearly in my death. Why risk it?

You seem nice and maybe I will learn about you and get to know you, if we ever meet again.

Somehow I doubt that, when Edward sets his mind on something it's happening. I do wish we could stay and yes maybe we could...talk

_With each word I write it appears less likely._

Oh Bella, you really have lost all hope haven't you?

_No matter what you think of me I still loved you._

Ok I know I never show my emotional side but I swear my ears are welling up. Oh in a strange way I loved her too.

_Have a happy life_

_Bella_

How can I have a happy life when Edwards eating myself up over leaving you? Silly Bella! Darn it I guess I need her back after all. Whoa never thought I would hear myself say that! What's wrong with me? I trundled up to mine and Emmett's room and he was sat on the bed staring at his letter.

"We need her back" he whispered"

"I know Emmy bear, I know" please somehow get her back here! I internally moaned.

**_JASPER_**

I went out to the lake as Bella left and I watched her walk all the way down the drive. She had a long walked ahead of her; it was quite the way from her house. I still carried the little piece of paper given to me by her torn soul. She was truly shattered, I had sensed it. I tried to keep it out but I could not win, her emotions overwhelmed me. This all was happening because of me and my weakness. What kind of a brother am I? I silently tore into the letter and read it.

_Jasper,_

_I expect Alice has already told you this but you didn't listen. It was not you fault!_

How can them words come out of her mouth? I was the weak stupid vampire that tried to kill her because she got a paper cut!! Of course it was my fault.

_Everyone has there bad days. I don't blame you for what happened and I hope you forgive yourself one day._

Never will I forgive myself for breaking up this family! Yes I include you in that!

_I won't be there to see it though. You'll perfect you thirst one day as well._

Oh I do hope so, it would be nice and then maybe you can return to us and make our lives whole again.

_Look after yourself_

_Bella_

How am I supposed to look after myself? I barely know who I am! Alice is always there for me but even she is thoroughly affected by this tragedy. We are completely lost without you Bella. Return to us and I will prove I can beat my bloodlust!

guys please review!! i have hardly any!!


	6. Chapter 6

_**REVIEW please guys i dont get many from this story! even if it is bad tell me!**_

_**Chapter 6**_

**_Esme_**

I proceeded to Carlisle's study after I received Bella's letter and she had left. It pains me to think of what is going to happen now. I hope that the family will not split up. Cautiously I opened the letter.

_Esme,_

_Mum,_

The first word sent a stab of pain wash through me, she classed me as her mum and we threw her away like we didn't care about her!

_Your cooking was one of a kind and I will defiantly miss it._

My cooking was nothing really but it was sweet of her to say so.

_Please try and keep Edward with you, I am scared of what he will do on his own._

I am scared too about Edward dear Bella. He is so distant now and he will never see himself the way I do. He is a great boy; he just needs to accept himself and his family. It would kill me if he left again, truly it would.

_Keep the music flowing in the house and let it be like I never entered your world. I should never of anyway._

Oh Bella how can you say that? Of course you are welcome in our world, it is just maybe not the best place for you. My eyes turned red but I know no tears will fall, as always.

_If Edward really wants to be on his own for a while, build him a little cottage or something so he has his own place, just don't let him out of your clutches!_

I have a fear that he will leave when none of us expect it, I will not have time to build him a house. I would let him leave if he wanted to, but it would kill me to do it.

_Missing you heart warming smile_

_Bella_

I miss your smile too my dear Bella. Don't loose it.

CARLISLE

I sighed as I watched Bella leave down our driveway. Never again would she walk the same way with a content heart. I heard someone rustling towards the trees and assumed it was Jasper; he liked to be alone a lot. The letter I clutched felt as if it were made of 1 million tonnes of lead. I left when she wrote my letter and so the final words of Bella Swan are a mystery. Coaxing myself to do so I opened the letter.

_Carlisle,_

_Dad,_

Haha it was nice to know I had a daughter (figuratively speaking) that was human

_don't put yourself down for this, you have done an incredible thing with this family and don't loose it because of me._

I know the family remain ignorant and think that Edward most likely wont leave but I know better.

I have had an entire century to get to know him.

_Your love and compassion for your family is great and I was hoping one day to join it but it appears now that that will not happen._

Edward would never of allowed that dear Bella, unless you were dieing. You will always be part of my family, with us or not.

_It is your job as well as Esme's to make sure your family is still happy without me, Alice will be a hard one to crack but I know you an do it._

Alice will break through her sorrows eventually; time can heal some of her worries but many she will have to face head on.

_Wishing you happiness for eternity_

_Bella_

Happiness comes at a price Bella. I have learnt that through the years. With the Volturi, on my own, with Edward, with the others, it all cost me something. Changing everyone meant I lost a giant slice of my humanity. The Volturi tried to force me into a diet I wasn't comfortable with. And well happiness is just a lie mix with anger and pain. Love was a different thing altogether. That was the emotion this house was built on. It made us who we are and we are starting to lose the love for each other I fear. Pretty soon the whole family will crumble unless something happens. I will piece this together and I will see what I can do.


	7. Chapter 7

ok guys here you are Chapter 7. please review and tell me what you think. this story will be finishing soon because, well now everyone has read there letters sooo :D please keep reading and review for me. please read my other stories too

**_Chapter 7_**

Life meant nothing, had no meaning any more. I knew everyone hated me for leaving… her, but it needed to happen. She didn't deserve me. Heck, she didn't deserve to be within 80 miles of me! My family had a slightly bigger right to see her but still, just because of what we are she is doomed. I trailed to my bedroom after she left my life for the better. I threw the letter she gave me in the bin. I threw myself on my bed and closed my eyes. I wouldn't fall asleep, just another thing which makes me too different from her. I loved her to the ends of the earth but I just had to face it that I was putting her in unnecessary danger. I sighed and rolled over to my stomach. I traced the patterns on my wall over and over. This pain I feel will never cease but it may numb one day. If I deserve that. I heard a soft knocking on my door and I knew it was Esme.

"Come in, Esme" i muttered. I heard the door open and close again. Then the pattering of her footsteps getting closer.

"Are you okay Edward?" she asked sincerely

"I have been better"

" I think we all have dear

"im sorry but I had to leave her"

"I do but it doesn't make me feel any better Edward, Bella made you whole and now she has left its making you go back to the old Edward and to be honest I like the new and improved Edward a lot better"

"I like him too mum"

"Don't be hard on Jazz, he is having trouble with himself at the moment he doesn't need people yelling and moaning at him"

"I don't blame Jazz, I blame myself for bringing her here in the first place. I mean something was bound to happen at some point with a human around"

"Why don't you use her name?"

"Because its too painful to say it" I admitted weakly.

"Heartbreak isn't easy to overcome, I know that" she got up and walked to my bin. She gazed in.

"Do you not want to open your letter from her?" she asked curious. I didn't answer. When I remained silent for a good minute she picked up the letter from the bin and brought it to me.

"Do me a favour" she said, giving me the letter. I sighed and took the paper into my hands. I slowly unwrapped the letter as if it were a bomb.

Edward,

I forgive you.

Looking after you're heart until you need it

Bella

What was there to say to that? She couldn't say anything to me, it was too painful. The two words she did write were not the ones I wanted to hear from her at all. She forgave me? Was she stupid? I endangered her life time and time again and she just forgave me? I chuckled darkly.

"what a stupid girl" I muttered. Esme took the letter from my hand a read it for herself.

"Edward, she isn't stupid, it is exactly what I would write"

"but why would anyone forgive me for what I have done?"

"What, loved a girl who was lost in a new town? Someone who had never had love before. No Edward you have done nothing but good for Bella and she loved you back. And you have just thrown that all away" I had hadn't I? I took my one chance at happiness and trashed it like it was a piece of garbage. Damn, Bella, I miss you already my love.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

I hope I did the Cullen's justice by giving them those letters. I strolled aimlessly after I left the driveway, trying to find my way home. I paid no attention to the road and just hoped I was going the right way. Eventually I found myself completely and utterly lost. I sat down at the nearest flat surface I could find, which happened to be a lovely tree stump. Eventually I slumped down and rested my head on the stump. I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to overcome me. _Someone will find me; they'll save me from this nightmare _I thought hazily. I faded into the black.

"Bella? BELLA!?" I opened my eyes from a haunted dream and my eyes focused. My eyes clashed with the eyes of someone familiar. Yet I only noticed this with a lesser part of me, the main part was fixated on the russet wolf towering over me. He looked at me and he seemed, sad? He turned and trotted into the forest. I stood froze and then when Jacob came back, half clothed I remember who the eyes belonged to. Jacob was a wolf?

"Bella?" he said again. I gazed at him but no words came out. I sat up and hunched up against the tree stump.

"What did he do?" he said through clenched teeth.

"What was needed" I answered cryptically.

"He broke up with you right?" I couldn't answer so I changed the subject.

"I think the question should be, what the hell are you?" he sighed at this and went to sit by me

"It seems the story I told you wasn't such a story after all"

"You mean you really are a werewolf?" I gasped. He chuckled darkly

"So it seems"

"So can you speak when you're a wolf?"

"Nope" he pulled his face into a full grin " only wolf talk I'm afraid"

"So how comes I could hear you say my name then?" his grin was wiped straight of his face as soon as I said that.

"I…got angry" he admitted sheepishly "that's how I phase so to speak"

. Usually I can control it but I have times when I get too angry and I automatically phase, I can't help it, the animal takes over" when he spoke I somehow, without noticing, got closer to him. I said nothing, I just got closer still.

"So what about you? Why are you all the way out here?" He murmured

"Im lost" I told him, waiting for the laugh to follow.

"Well, I can take you home if you wish"

"And how do you plan to do that?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Just jump on" I said and then he suddenly burst out of his clothes and into the glorious wolf I had met earlier. His mouth then fell into a sort of wolfy grin. I made no move so he came closer and nudged me. I coax myself and then clambered onto his back. It felt wrong but I didn't complain. He then took off, pounding against the dirt. It was as if I was horse riding. The moves were fluid and full of flare. We said nothing as we made our way to the general area of my house. Not a whisper … or a bark. After a while I began to notice the trees that engulfed me as home. Just a little longer and I would be at my doorstep but Jacob stopped at the edges of the wood. He drew in his hind legs and lowered himself to the floor. I stumbled off and he looked at me as if to say

"Don't move" I nodded at his unspoken command and he took off into the forest. I waited, and waited for what seemed like an age. Eventually he jogged out of his hiding place, human, clothed. I stared at him, probably looking like a fool.

"What?" he chuckled "oh, the clothes, they were on my leg the entire time. Always handy to keep a spare pair of clothes"

"So you were wearing different clothes when you found me?" I mumbled, incoherently.

"Yeah, sorta shredded my clothes when I saw you, I was too angry at the way you looked"

"Oh" I replied, using the full capacity of my dysfunctional brain.

"So I've told you all about me and my multiple personality disorder, what's your excuse?" if I was in a better mood would of called him on that but I stayed silent.

"Lets try this again" he said slowly "did the bloodsucker break up with you?" I nodded slowly and he sighed.

"I gathered"

"Im broken Jake. The old Bella is gone" he pulled me into a warm hug and I slumped into his comforting embrace.

"Why were you so far from home?"

"I said my final goodbye to the Cullen's, never again will I darken their doorway, its over" and so there it was, my one last goodbye, no Cullen could hear, but I said it none the less. _Edward._ I looked to the sky. _Goodbye._

_Aww JAKE!!!!!! so yeah he was actually turned earlier in my story just because :D so hope you enjoyed and please review_


	9. Chapter 9

please review guys!! very sad chappy i think.

**_Bella POV_**

Charlie wasn't in today, he had gone fishing and he thought I was staying round the Cullen's. I was in the house on my own. It was way past 10pm now. I trundled up to my room after locking the door. I lay in my bed and finally allowed myself to show how devastated I was. My pillow quickly became covered in my tears. I didn't do anything to stop it; I just let the emotions pour. I knew this was wrong, I should be happy that he's going to a better place, one where he gets someone he deserves.

"Bella?" I whipped my tearstained head to the window. My hopes were dashed when I saw Jasper, not Edward there.

"Oh" I quickly wiped my eyes to remove the tears "Jazz. Hi" My sentences were emotionless, clipped.

"I never said sorry did I?" he mused as he trundled in the window and sat in my rocking chair.

"There's no need, it was in your nature and it's past now" I mumbled

"Thank you, for the letter, it gave me inspiration" I nodded, I couldn't speak anymore. Finally I got the courage.

" Jazz, take away my pain, make me feel nothing. I can't bear it anymore. Do something, please," I almost begged. He got up then, walked to my bed and knelt down next to me.

"Are you sure?" he asked

"Yes, have my emotions for tonight, I am not strong enough to bear them for the moment" he nodded and took my hand into his.

"Good night Bella, may you sleep well"

"Chase away the nightmares Jazz," I whimpered

"Of course Bella" my eyes closed and I drifted into a deep sleep. I can never repay Jasper for that night. I dreamt not once, it must have been because I was forced to sleep. I was a shell of the Bella there once was. My usual loving, good-natured self was destroyed in an instant. All I felt now was pain, misery and anger. They were my closest friends. I faded once again into the black and wanted to never come out.

_**Jasper POV.**_

I sat hunched on my bed; Alice was trying to comfort me. I say try, very important word there for it didn't help. I didn't know why, Alice always made me happy. I guess I needed to face up to what I had done. This was my entire fault no matter how much Bella says it wasn't. I would go to Bella's and help as much as I could. Everyone had back now, yeah we were moving right now! Guess who's idea it was, you guessed it folks, Edward.

"Alice, I have got to go," I murmured

"I know, give her my love ey?"

"Oh course" with that I got up and walk down the stairs, carrying a box that needed to be loaded into the Volvo. I slipped it in and saw Carlisle coming out.

"You ready to go?" I asked

"Yeah, can I run there? I really need the air" I felt the curiosity rolling off him.

"Sure, if it helps" he allowed. I nodded and took off as everyone else was coming out to go. Yes, I felt like a cad trying to sneak off to Bella's but there was no other way, Edward made it like that. It was 11: 24 when I reached Bella's house. I peered in and I saw the most ghastly site. Bella, weeping her eyes out like there no tomorrow. Her eyes were horribly red from the amount of tears she had actually shed.

"Bella?" I had managed to get out. Her eyes whipped to where I was and I felt the disappointment she felt. She had wished for Edward.

"Oh" She hurried to wipe the tears away but it was too late, I had already seen the mess I had caused. "Jazz. Hi" Her sentences were emotionless, clipped.

"I never said sorry did I?" I admitted as I slid in the room and travelled over to her rocking chair. Better not chance getting close to her just yet.

"There's no need, it was in your nature and it's past now" She tried to place the blame on being human, damn she can twist a situation around!

"Thank you, for the letter, it gave me inspiration" it was true, really it gave me inspiration to try that much harder on my self control.

" Jazz, take away my pain, make me feel nothing. I can't bear it anymore. Do something, please," I was stunned by what she said. She wanted me to force her to sleep because she didn't want to feel. What have we done to her? I would sort this out. I walked over to her and knelt beside her.

"Are you sure?" I asked. I was broken for seeing her so uterly destroyed.

"Yes, have my emotions for tonight, I am not strong enough to bear them for the moment" Fine, if you wish it. I gave a quick nod and put her hand into mine and slowly sent her fatigue.

"Good night Bella, may you sleep well" I murmured to her soothingly

"Chase away the nightmares Jazz," She whimpered. Yes Bella, I will chase away everything that haunts you. I am your protector and I will not let you down.

"Of course Bella" I vowed. I gradually increased her fatigue; she was out in no time. She was as still as a corpse, she wont be feeling anything for a while. This was it; I had to show everyone what we were doing to her. I slid her in my arms and jumped from her window. I landed with a soft thud and I took her in the direction of where our new house was. Somewhere just south I believe, Edward didn't want to move too far away so he can look after her. we should reach there about the same time as the others. I flew through the city and Bella never stirred or talk a word. I bet she wasn't even dreaming. I'll sort this out if it's the last thing I do.

So as i said please review and give me your opinion! i love em!


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks for all the lovely reviews guys! please do that all again!

**_Bella POV_**

I awoke to the sound of something smash on a floor. Where was I?

"Damn it, see what you've done" I focused on the voice and decided it was Jasper. But who were the others?

"Jasper?" I mumbled. I then felt someone grab my hand. I open my eyes fully and saw Jasper crouching by me, looking into my eyes.

"Bella" he replied

"Where am I?"

"Safe" he simply responded. I lifted my gazed and saw a guy with ruffled hair, which had a slight red tint.

"Hello, who are you?" I asked. His faced creased into a thick line then.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" he thundered at Jasper.

"Kept my promise to her, she wished to forget her pain which meant forgetting…" he didn't finish the sentence but this stranger somehow figured it out. He said nothing, just turned and stormed out the door. It was then I took in my surroundings. I was lying on a fresh sofa, covered in blankets. I felt as if I had woken from being anaesthetized, not quite there.

"Here Bella, go back to sleep" I started to feel dizzy and tired.

"That won't be good for her" suddenly I was fine and I turned to see a tall man with blond hair staring at me, leaning on a wall. I didn't know him either.

Then I heard a soft humming, high pitched. I appeared they were talking to each other at an unreasonable speed but I knew that couldn't be possible, maybe I was dreaming. I decided I would deal with this when I wasn't so … out of it. I closed my eyes and welcomed the darkness. It seemed all too familiar. I let the nightmares commence.

_**Jasper Pov.**_

No one said anything as I trailed Bella inside and slumped her down into a new sofa. Hell no, they _waited_ to shout at me. Well not everyone, just a certain Edward Cullen.

"What is she doing here?" he growled

"She's under my protection" I replied calmly back "you want to get your hands on her Edward, you're going through me"

"That wont be necessary" Carlisle responded calmly. He walked over to me and patted me on the shoulder.

" You know what you did was wrong Jasper"

"Carlisle I only did what I have done because she begged me to do so. She asked me to remove the pain she was in, how wrong is that!"

"LIES!" Edward scream and he kicked a coffee table and the bowl which was one there took an almighty tumble to the ground. It smashed and my resolve on Bella faltered and she twitched.

"Damn it, see what you've done?" I demanded at Edward. I had to sort this out. I sent her confusion, she wouldn't remember anything accept for me. It just worked that way.

"Jasper?" I hurried over to the fragile figure. I took her hand in mine and crouched by her.

"Bella" I replied

"Where am I?"

"Safe" I simply responded. She took her gaze from me and looked directly at Edward.

"Hello, who are you?" Opps, Edward's gonna be even extra mad now.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" he thundered at me. Yeah, my theory was correct.

"Kept my promise to her, she wished to forget her pain which meant forgetting…"_you_, I tagged on the extra thought so Bella wouldn't get suspicious. He said nothing, just turned and stormed out the door. I would have to deal with him later.

"Here Bella, go back to sleep" I decided to send her back to sleep; I couldn't keep her confused forever.

"That won't be good for her," Carlisle said from the wall. I spoke at Vampire speed now so Bella wouldn't hear.

"What am I meant to do Carlisle?"

"Let her remember in time, she can't handle it all at once but you can't keep her from the truth"

"I know, I'll lessen my effect on her over time but for now, let her sleep, she deserves peace after the ciaos we caused " I decided. I felt Bella slowly drift into unconsciousness.

"How was she when you found her?" he asked timidly

"Heartbroken" was all I said. It summed up everything.

"Let this be the right thing to do" Carlisle spoke to himself.

I hope you liked it! Tell me what you think and poor Jazz lol


	11. Chapter 11

**_Chapter 11_**

_**Bella POV**_

"Here Bella, eat!" a woman who I recently learnt was Esme said while thrusting a tray in my hands.

"No thank you, im not hungry"

"You have to eat Bella" Carlisle told me.

"I'm not hungry," I repeated. Esme sighed and turned to dispose of the food.

"Sorry Esme but I am really not hungry"

"It's okay Bella" she smiled meekly. Questions kept floating around in my head. What had Jasper made me forget? Was it important? I focussed on Carlisle and tried to remember if I had known him before, he did seem slightly familiar. I felt Jasper at my side then and he put his hand on my shoulder. I didn't turn to greet him or anything but continued to stare at Carlisle. Then it clicked. Who he was!

"Holy Cow Carlisle!!!" I screamed "finally, its about time!" I just beamed at him

"What's the matter Bella?"

"You, I remember you" his eyebrows turned up in a questioning smile and then he turned to Jasper who nodded.

"What do you remember?" I continued to think hard.

"You're a doctor, you're a vampire, the same as Jasper" then I started to remember a bit more and more.

"And you have a wife! Esme!" I screamed and then I beamed at Esme who returned her relieved looking expression.

"Very good Bella, yes very true" he then turned to Jasper "Jasper, I think Rosalie needed your help" he seemed to remember. Jasper nodded and left.

"Rosalie, no, I don't know about Rosalie yet, have I met her before?" I asked the room in general.

"Bella, come on you really need to eat" Esme said. Clearly I wasn't getting an answer so I just sighed

"Fine, what's for dinner?"

"Pizza" she piped.

What a mother!

_**Carlisle POV**_

Over the years I have spent with Jasper I have come to a conclusion. Temporarily giving someone amnesia is very damaging if you do it too long. So here I stand, with my wife, who is preparing food for a girl who doesn't even remember her name. Of course we told her all of our names, to not do so would be stupid. Anyway here I stand with Bella and im allowing it. Why? Because to not do so would kill her slowly, I couldn't have that happen on my family's behalf. Heartbreak is a great killer, silent but great.

"Here Bella, eat!" Esme practically begged Bella

"No thank you, im not hungry" I repressed a sigh

"You have to eat Bella," I told her sternly

"I'm not hungry," she repeated. Esme sighed and turned to dispose of the food.

"Sorry Esme but I am really not hungry" she apologised, why wasn't she eating anything?

"It's okay Bella" she smiled meekly. She then focussed on me with a longing in her eyes, she wanted something from me. Tell me Bella, what? Jasper moved at her side then and he put his hand on her shoulder. Oh, I knew what she wanted now. She wanted to see if she knew me at all before now. Jasper was there right by her, what was he doing, keeping her confused or was he going to let her remember?

"Holy Cow Carlisle!!!" she suddenly exclaimed "finally, its about time!" She then beamed right at me.

"What's the matter Bella?" I asked warily

"You, I remember you" I smiled at this, she seemed so happy about it. I turned to Jasper, asking him with my expression weather he had done what I thought he had. Jasper nodded. He let her remember me!

"What do you remember?" I asked, I needed to know how much she knew now.

"You're a doctor, you're a vampire, the same as Jasper" then she closed her eyes and thought more

"And you have a wife! Esme!" She happily announced. Hmm she didn't know who my family was apart from Esme, but she was remembering too much, soon she would get too much information.

"Very good Bella, yes very true" I nodded then turned to Jasper "Jasper, I think Rosalie needed your help" it was a subtle warning to stop now. He nodded and left.

"Rosalie, no, I don't know about Rosalie yet, have I met her before?" She asked. Oh great.

"Bella, come on you really need to eat" Esme said hastily. She sighed.

"Fine, what's for dinner?" I was slightly relieved to see that she was going to eat something now.

"Pizza" my wife piped. Oh my wife, what a mess we have ourselves in.

OK so here's a bit of a Carlisle chappy! Good ol' C man! So please review and all that Jazz!


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

_**Jasper POV**_

Ok I had hell to pay, Carlisle defiantly looked and felt a bit scared and annoyed with me. Edward, well, lets just not go there. Once he finds out im letting Bella remember things his going to flip. You can't win with him, seriously, its impossible.

"Jasper, can I come in?" Carlisle voice echoed from the door. I turned around on my bed so I faced the door and gazed around mine and Alice's room.

"Sure Carlisle, you know you don't have to ask just knock and enter" I get so annoyed when he does this.

"Good manners and all" he merely said while entering the room. He quietly flitted over to my bed and perched on the edge.

" I know what you here so say and im sorry, I'm just, well im getting worried Carlisle. What happens if I keep it up for too long? It would kill us all if we hurt her"

"I know but we just have to go about this in a sensible way and not go about hastily and loose ourselves" he reasoned. I nodded

"When do you think I should let her know about Alice, Rosalie and Emmett?"

"Oh a day or two I should imagine but know this, she must be ready to know about us. You can't force her to remember"

"True" I acknowledged. I paused. Carlisle caught that and lifted his eyebrows. I sighed, "Edward, he wants to come home and he's going to be mad" I clarified for him. Carlisle nodded in understanding. "Yes I imagine he will be but we can't allow he to come home prematurely, It could let Bella remember far to early then she's ready to. This is killing Esme you know"

"I can feel it, yes she is very heartbroken about everything, Bella, Edward leaving, just everything" I sighed in frustration and fell back onto my bed.

"This is taking a lot out of me you know. I've never had to manipulate someone's emotions for so long"

"I'm very grateful for what you are doing you know, I just don't like it. It's a great paradox"

"_Life_ is a Paradox Carlisle, you of all of us should know that the best" he chuckled then

"That, I agree with" he said amused.

"Hunt?" I asked him. He pondered it for a second

"Oh why not, I'm going to work tomorrow so I wont have time then" I got up from my bed and grabbed my cell and left with Carlisle. Life isn't so bleak when Carlisle is your mentor.

**_Alice POV (FINALLY) lol_**

I knocked slowly on our door and entered.

"Jazz, can I talk to you?" I asked tenderly

"Of course Ally" he was just lying on our bed when I entered. I walked over and joined him on the bed. I placed my head right on his chest.

"Why are you scared my love?" he murmured in my ear.

"What if we hurt Bella?" I suddenly spoke.

"How do you think we will hurt Bella?"

"By erasing her memory" I flung my arms up for effect.

"Ally" he sighed as he took my hand into his "everything will be alright" he soothed. I leaned back into his chest and took in his scent.

"I've missed you" I sighed

"Yeah I have to but I cant leave Bella's side and…"

"And I can't be near her because it might make her remember me"

"I'm sorry" his face pulled into a sad frown

"Aww don't be Jazz, its for Bella, I understand" I kissed him gently on the lips and I closed my eyes. Sleep wouldn't find me, but still, I was fine just where I was.

Rigt guys tell me whos POV you want!!! and i know its short aswell!


	13. Chapter 13

_**Edward POV (because he deserves a chapter!)**_

What have we done to her life? Trampled on it and ruined it beyond repair. I guess that is what is in our nature to do. Ruin whatever we get involved in. I can't believe Jasper; he's endangering her life by doing this. But I can't go back, not now. It would remind her of what and who I am. The pain I caused her will be nothing to what it could be. We will all leave her once she remembers enough to leave her alone. I must once again tear myself from her life and attempt to leave her. It was painful the first time. It will be excruciating the second. Can I go through with it? When she looked at me with them pain filled eyes, I melted. Yes, I will be hers for as long as I shall live. Yes, she can never be with me. No, she doesn't deserve me. One thing is for sure; my life will never be whole again. Until the day I die I will wish for her, every night, every day. When I look at the sky and see the stars they will be her, smiling down at me with her brown eyes. What a cruel world. Yet still I do not despise Carlisle, he gave me love and friendship, you cannot earn that. No matter how many good deeds you do, it cannot earn you forgiveness if you have committed the blackest of sins. I do not wish to be forgiven at all, just understood. That's is what Carlisle gave me. Who am I kidding? he gave me both. He forgave me with all his heart and understood what I wanted and the way my mind works. He was my soul mate in other words. I feel sorry for him in some respects. He is only 3 years older then Jasper and Emmett and yet he was thrusted into becoming a father to not one, but 5 teenagers. What had he done to want such a thing? I lay here in the meadow I once came to find peace, watching the sunset. Yet it does nothing to bring about peace to me today. I am too disturbed by my emotions to think of peace. I don't deserve peace. The yellow drifted into orange, which melted into red and faded to black. I sighed, another day gone, another day from her. The stars shone bright and sent me into a trance. I was captivated, it was marvellous. They shone with the shimmer of the waves and danced like flowers in the wind. Then I got up and made my mind. I'm coming for you Bella, and you best be ready.

_**Alice POV (cause you wanted it! Deep down you know it's true!) **_

I was on the sofa in mine and Jaspers room when I felt myself drift into a vision. Edward, running through the woods, heading … back here!

"Oh Edward, No! Stop you fool! I cried out.

"Alice what do you see?" I heard Jasper ask me from somewhere in the distance. Snapped out of the vision and said flatly.

"Edwards coming back"

"WHAT!" he growled.

"He's decided, nothing will stop him from returning to see Bella" I said defeated.

"When will he learn?" Jasper said irritably.

"That's a lost cause, come on, lets tell Carlisle of this" I got up, grabbed Jazz's hand and we walked out. Then I fell to the floor in another vision just outside of Carlisle's office. Words cannot describe how horrified I was at what I saw. Therefore I will not write them. It cannot be written and absorbed, just witnessed. You may find out one day if you do I would love to see how you write this down.

"ALICE!" Jasper said panicked. I'm sure I had gone paler then normal, impossible I know, yet I'm sure it was achieved.

"don't worry Jazz, I'm fine, just the after affects of my vision earlier" I mumbled. He still didn't take his gaze from me while he knoced on the dorr to Carlisle's study.

"Come in Jasper and Alice" he called. I have no idea how he knew it was us but it was enough to freak us out all the time he does it. I took a breath before opening the door and leading Jazz in the door.

"Carlisle" I started "we need to talk"

**DUN DUN DUN! lol so please REVIEW!! and tell me all your wonderful thoughts on my story! Come on guys! i wanna get about 10 for this chappy!**


	14. Chapter 14

**_Chapter 14 _**

**_Previously_**

"Carlisle we have to talk"

**_Carlisle Pov_**

"I had a feeling you did" I smiled as they entered and sat down in front of my desk. I should have asked them "what about?" but I am not so outright. If they wanted to speak they will do so therefore I just waited.

"Carlisle, I had a vision" Alice started. I nodded but said nothing otherwise.

"About Edward… He's…returning" to say I was disappointed would be about right yet maybe I would do the same thing.

"I see, well what would you advise us to do?"

"Stop him, it would destroy Bella" I nodded as I took in her words. Then I turned to Jasper now and frowned, he look drained.

"Jasper, are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Using my powers for this amount of time is taking its toll, this needs to be resolved soon, I cant hang on for much longer but im fine sir" I smiled and shock my head at Jasper.

"I thought we was past 'sir' Jasper"

"Sorry, old habits die hard"

"Very true and it appears it's the same for Edward. He never could stay away from family"

"True" Jasper smirked

"So what do you think should be our course of action?"

"I think… Edward needs to be stopped, at least until her emotions are more stable" I sighed

"I hate to have to do this but I agree, it is the only way to ensure Bella's safety"

"Its not your fault Carlisle, its in is nature to be persistent" Jasper said

"But surly I raised him to be aware of what is the best course of action to take and yet he disobeys everything I told him to do"

" Its not your fault" He repeated to me. Yet how could I listen? Every part of me told myself that Edward should know returning would damage everything we have built on shaky ground to start with. Yet love can do foolish things

"Very well lets prepare. "

"Carlisle…" Jasper murmured.

"Yes Jasper?"

"It may have to come to force. Even Edward seeing her can cause damage to Bella. He cant step foot in the house" I sighed

"I understand" I replied grimly "Warn everyone else for me. I must prepare"

"Of course" with that I motioned for them to leave and they did so. Oh Edward, there could never be a final goodbye with you can there. You keep retuning.

**_Edwards POV (Alice happy dance time)_**

Bella, im coming for you my love. Since I left I have not stop at all. The quicker I go the sooner it will be I meet Bella again. A few more minutes and I will be there!

Some part of me tells me this is a wrong move to make and everyone will not be happy but I cannot live without Bella. I took me until just now to realise it. Why did I say goodbye to her in the first place? It was foolish. However it will never happen again. I'm here now, thank god. Im here my Bella!

"Edward. Stop" Carlisle came out of the house, Emmett and Jasper on his flanks and Rose, Alice and Esme were flanking them. It was Carlisle who spoke. A confrontation was set in motion. Could I go up against my entire family? Well lets see.

so please REVIEW guys!!! lol It keeps me motivated.


	15. Chapter 15

**_Chapter 15_**

"You can't stop me seeing Bella," I growled

"We can and I'm afraid we must. She can't see you Edward, do you know what that would do to her?" I stood before my entire family

"I need to see her," I said, letting the emotion into my voice. "Knowing she's here and I can't see her is agony"

" I know Edward" Carlisle spoke evenly; I knew it all to well. He used it when he was frustrated. "But it can't happen, at the moment she cannot remember you but when she's sees you again she will because Jasper's control is slipping"

"Then why not let me see her and then Jasper can go do what the hell he wants without screwing with Bella's head"

"DON'T have a go at me for what you did!" Jasper threatened, "do you want me to remind you of what you did to her?" his thoughts swarmed my head.

_Bella, purely broken in her room. _

_Jasper then appeared from the window._

"_Bella?"_

"_Oh" Bella seemed disappointed, she was hoping it was I who graced her window "Jazz. Hi"_

_Jasper started to enter the window now_

"_I never said sorry did I?" he went to sit in the rocking chair I usually occupy _

"_There's no need, it was in your nature and it's past now" she merely mumbled. She was drained of everything, I had done that? _

"_Thank you, for the letter, it gave me inspiration" all she did to acknowledge Jasper was to nod. There was a pause. _

"Ok, stop now." I had seen enough. Yet Jasper did not stop with his thoughts, he carried on.

" Jazz, take away my pain, make me feel nothing. I can't bear it anymore. Do something, please," Bella pleaded. Oh Bella my love what have I done!

Jasper got up and walked to her bed.

"_Are you sure?" Jasper asked cautiously_

"_Yes, have my emotions for tonight, I am not strong enough to bear them for the moment"_ _Was that true?_ _Could she really not bear the emotion I caused her. I could see Jasper take Bella's hand in his. She started to fall asleep._

"_Good night Bella, may you sleep well"_

"Chase away the nightmares Jazz," She whimpered into the dark.

"Of course Bella" was all Jasper responded. She was asleep within seconds.

"Had enough yet?" Jasper growled, "or do you want more, I have plenty of thoughts" he spat.

"Jasper," Carlisle cautioned, "Calm yourself" he then looked to Emmett and he walked towards me.

"Come on Ed, lets go ey? It's doing you no good here" He grabbed my shoulder firmly and pulled me away. I wasn't going this easily. I ripped away from him a headed for the house. Yet Emmett grabbed me from behind and held me in his iron grip.

"Let me go!" I said though clenched teeth.

"Sorry Edward, can't do that"

"Jazz? Where are you? Can I have a drink?" Bella's beautiful form was suddenly in the doorway.

"Bella no!" Jasper quickly got in the way of her and me but it was to late.

" Edward?" She spoke strangely, as if she hadn't spoken the word in a lifetime. Her eyes then gradually filled with tears and she collapsed to the floor in heaving sobs.

"Edward! How could you?" It was all she said. Yet I felt every word like a dagger to my unbeating heart.

"This is what I saw," Alice murmured from Rosalie's side, " I didn't know how to explain it. No words can describe the pain she's in Edward. You destroyed her" Her words were more blows. I knew she didn't mean them in a cruel way but still it was true.

"I have haven't I? What can I do?" her eyes told me the regrettable answer. Nothing can be done. I tore her soul away because I refused to leave it with her. I wanted her for myself wherever I went. How selfish could I be? This was not how I was raised.

"What have I become?" I muttered into my hands.

"E…E…Edward?" I flipped my head to face the tear stained eyes of Bella.

"Yes, it's me Bella"

"You're here? But you didn't want me" she sobbed

"Oh silly Bella, it was a filthy lie, nothing could be further from the truth and sorry doesn't even contribute to making up for what I did to you" she slowly got up and tenderly walked up to me. She slowly took her hand and placed it on mine.

"You're real, you're really here?" it was only natural she would think I was cruel illusion made to haunt her.

"As real as I will ever be" she cautiously pulled me into a hug. I heard her take a sharp inhale then she sighed.

"This could start to make up for what you did" she tried to smile but it turned into more of a grimace.

"No, it cannot, and nothing will. I only hope in time you will forgive be Bella"

"You're already forgiven" she sniffled

So my darkest chapter has gone and everything is relatively back to normal. Well besides the giant hole in both our hearts that will forever remain with us. We will always remember when I left her. Hopefully nothing like this happens to you, lucky reader, as no one deserves what I had done. Hopefully for all of us there will never be a final goodbye.

THE END

Hope you enjoyed and please review. Also tell me what story you prefur me to work on more now.

AxStupidxLamb


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